Wednesday, April 27, 2011

The Good, The Bad, and Cooke's Season's Over (REDWING77)

My Oh My..... Gary Bettman, if you're reading this, don't worry big guy. You're still the boss. And there's always next year. Perhaps at the GM meetings this offseason you can make a new rule that breathing on Crosby will be a 5 minute major and an automatic 3 game suspension.

The Bad

Chicago lost in 7 to Vancouver. Man, I'm bummed about this. But it really comes down to what I thought it wouldn't come down to: Offensive inconsistency. I thought Chicago's weakness was Crawford (well, Turco, but he sucks so bad, he isn't even allowed to carry Crawford's bags... which brings me to this question: Who sucks worse: Turco or Huet? Tough one! Still say Huet. Turco was good for more than one season at one point). I was wrong. Crawford was the bright spot in Game 7. Toews finally showed up offensively. Big drop from Conn Smythe to barely noticeable on the stat sheet. I know, he wasn't bad in this series but... everyone is ruled by the stat sheet.

Anaheim vs. Nashville: I wonder if anyone in Tennessee even knows that the Preds won a series? This series was only slightly more noticeable than the Cubs baseball games in that time period... but alas, Anaheim and Nashville could beat the Cubs... And yeah, at baseball. And yeah, the Cubs are that big of a joke.

The Colin Campbell Wheel of Justice. I understand you want to take a stance that physical play belongs in hockey. I agree with you. But dangerous hits to the head doesn't belong in hockey. Might want to revisit that.

The Good

2/3rds of the Triumverate of Awful are eliminated!!!! (The Avs were eliminated 2 months into the season so I guess that means 3 of 3?) Somewhere Gary Bettman is squeezing the crap out of that stuffed penguin pet he has and crying into his Pens Jammies. His beloved boys are out! Carey Price is OUT! Let me explain:

First, Montreal. You know, I despise Carey Price. Normally, it would end there. I have nothing against any of the other players, coaches, or whatever. However, how come so many of Montreal's web-based fanbase come across as such pompous, arrogant whiners? Uh huh huh, so you can speak two languages! Uh huh huh so you historically root for a team that has won 25 Stanley Cups (probably more). But you haven't won since Patrick Roy was a rookie. Gracious in losing and in everything is what measures a fanbase. And, I admit, I root for two fanbases that have shown their backsides at times, but really... grow up guys.

Second, Pittsburgh. I feel for Crosby. He is an innocent in all of this. But he's also the Messianic message to Pittsburgh fans and the NHL Front Office. After all, no way would TB have won had Crosby been playing. After all, that's what the commentators say every time the Pens lose when Crosby isn't on the ice! In fact, I'm fairly sure that, if Crosby were healthy and the game was called the way it was supposed to be called, Pittsburgh wouldn't have lost a single game since Crosby first suited up for the Pens. He is a God child anyways.

As for Fleury, he played well, but I still think he's an overrated goaltender. Not quite as overrated as Carey Price (who I predict is going to get a nice paycheck to suck for X years for Montreal... Yep, he's the next Jose Theodore for Montreal), but that's not the story. He got outplayed by 41 year old Dwayne Roloson. The neatest Fleury trick though was Moore burned him 2 times in a row... WITH THE SAME DARN PLAY! You'd think, as Crybaby Roenick pointed out, a GREAT team like the Pens would learn. Nope. Fleury first learned that he was scored on when the red light when Moore celebrated coming out from behind the net.

As for Matt Cooke, his suspension ended up being just the right length, which is KARMATIC JUSTICE. He can now stare moodily at the video footage with Byslma 24/7 until training camp starts up without worrying about which playoff team is he going to traumatize with his cheap and illegal antics. SUCK IT COOKE.

The Red Wings: You know what: I think the Red Wings are now more dangerous. They were fairly banged up coming into the playoffs but this sweep of the Yotes may be just what the doctor ordered. In other news, the Yotes might be distracted by wondering where to address their moving boxes.

The Bruins: As Goon48 stated, Julien's job was on the line and Julien made it past the Habs. YAY! Now if the Bruins can just do what no one other than Chicago has been able to do in the last two seasons: Finish off the pesky Flyers. Bad news? Pronger is back so Savard better watch o... oops. Nevermind.

The Lightning takes on the Caps. Bettman's red headed stepchild is still in the hunt so look for the rare Ovechkin Snuggie to make an appearance wherever Bettman watches the games.