My Favourite Hockey Moment

I got an email from somebody the other day, asking me to describe my favourite moment or event in hockey. Is it the gold medal game in Salt Lake City? Was it Jason Pominville’s goal in O.T. against Ottawa in 2005? I can't pin point one thing but a recent series of events is a joy to behold.

My favourite hockey moment is any time the Toronto Maple Leafs lose a game.

I don’t have an axe to grind with the Leafs as a team. They’re so bad there isn’t much point worrying about them. Having said that, the hiring of Brian Burke is the first shrewd management decision since hiring Cliff Fletcher in the 90’s.

Burke does have his faults. He is a media whore and blowhard but I think he’s a decent evaluator of talent. At some point the Leafs will be a competitive hockey team because a blind squirrel, with a max payroll, eventually finds a nut.

In the meantime, I’m enjoying the losing and the theatre it brings. The Leafs’ on ice performance has all the drama and conflict of a classic Greek tragedy but when the lights dim the real fun begins.

To say media saturation in Toronto is overkill is being kind because it’s like trade deadline day, everyday, around here. The media feeds the beast that is a hyper self conscious Leafs Nation. To say Toronto fans are blind and illogical is being unkind to those who are.

The human male has a difficult time controlling emotions, especially for sports, but it makes for interesting post game audio. Blathering fools, like Steve from Ajax, Ont. or Dom from Owen Sound, Ont., prattle on like know-it-alls who deal in absolute unreality: every hockey player wants to play in Toronto or the eighth ranked blue liner on the Hurricanes is a lump of coal, just waiting to be groomed with the right pressure.

I have a former classmate who’ll suffice for this example. I’ll call him D.G. to protect his identity. He’s fairly smart guy but when it comes to the Leafs, he’s spent too little time in the gene pool.

D.G. is your typical blind but loyal Leafs’ fan. He deals in a by-the-seat-of your-pants mentality because there is never any common sense behind his solutions to fix his beloved hockey team.

It’s the middle of July and D.G. is sitting in a cool and dark classroom looking for a quick fix to 42 years of nothingness. Amid all the usual trash he talks, D.G. thinks the Leafs would get first round picks for Matt Stajan or Mikhail Grabovsky, Columbus would part with Rick Nash for a player off the roster and a few draft picks. Maybe the ultimate problem, “(is) too many Europeans on the roster,” D.G. said.

There is nothing more aggravating than a half assed thought, blurted out with no rhyme or reason but I also find it hysterical.

Sadly, all my joy appears to be fading.

The post game radio shows have settled into a quiet resignation because the season is already over. No winning streaks to get people talking positively, no late season push that has Torontonians thinking Stanley Cup, no thought of hockey when the weather turns warm. It seems Leafs fans have, finally, settled for their allotment in life and it’s causing me great pain.

In the end, I never thought I would say this.

When are these pathetic guys going to win a game?